By Jacob Slater
“The mediator between brain and the hands must be the heart.”
In my little write up of Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages, which you can find on my Long Dark Marathon of the Soul articles, I gave a little explanation as to my feelings on the ‘genre’ known as silent movies. As I said then, it’s not so much that I have an aversion to soundless films as that I’m not very experienced with them as a viewer. I’ve grown up in an age where the ‘talkie’ is a common thing after all, where the context of a film is gathered from the dialogue as much as it is the physical action, and it’s quite to split your attention between other things and still understand the events of the film. Watching silent films took a level of concentration that I wasn’t used to, and so in the past I haven’t been as involved mentally as more modern cinema. Now that I’m principally a ‘movie guy’ however, who is attempting to gain respect and perhaps actual legal tender from writing about films (and maybe making them, if I ever get the opportunity), I decided that it’s best for me and all you out there in internet land if I expanded my horizons as much as I can. You know, rather than try and improve my writing ability or anything like that, because that sounds hard and I’m too lazy.
You know, I took some risks this season, hoping to catch Asti off guard. But I’ve had to learn the hard way that you can’t catch Asti off guard. You have to walk right up to him and sock him in the mouth. The question then, is how well you respond to getting your own block knocked off. So I’m looking to sock Asti in his mouth from here on out.
6 weeks remaining.
Kelen Conley: The fifth season is finally here and the premiere didn’t disappoint. Things pick up right where they left off, as we rejoin our group in the same boxcar we left them in at the end of “A”. Secrets are revealed, walkers are killed, and one person goes Rambo on the bad guys!
If that’s not enough warning, SPOILERS AHEAD. Continue reading
By Jacob Slater
And finally, our epic conclusion. What film shall take the top spot on the list? Will Halloween be saved? Read on and find out.
11. An American Werewolf in London (1981), directed by John Landis
Dracula. Frankenstein. The Mummy. The Wolf-Man. Ever since the original run of Universal horror movies way back in the 1930s and 40s (and before that if you count the 1910 film version of Frankenstein), we’ve seen these four concepts, if not the exact stories repeated in hundreds of films since. Occasionally it works out okay, like the Hammer Films run in the 1950s (so much Christopher Lee…), but in most cases, like the 1972 shit-fest Dracula vs Frankenstein, it doesn’t. But they have the name recognition I guess, and if you’re in the business of selling movies rather enjoying them, I suppose it doesn’t really matter how you’re using the property as long as you can squeeze a few more bucks out of the audience. The pessimistic world of movies, kids.
By Jacob Slater
Part 2 of my landmark Halloween movie list. Hopefully some folks have already found some movies to their liking.
21. Vertigo (1958), directed by Alfred Hitchcock
In the world of filmmaking, there are few people as influential in the field as Alfred Hitchcock. Not only in terms of constructing narratives and cinematography, but also in raising the status of the director within the film industry. Aside from maybe Orson Welles, who acted as well as directed, Alfred Hitchcock was one of the first directors to become famous as a figure in pop culture outside of his films. Nowadays of course ‘auteur’ directors are commonplace, in fact they’re probably the standard, but Hitchcock basically made himself a brand name in the days when most people thought the director was just someone who told a guy where to point the camera. There’s a reason that Hitchcockian is considered a legitimate adjective in regards to film, along with Lynchian and Whedonesque. Also, Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch and Joss Whedon are all film directors who have had their own television shows. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Just as Florida State escaped Saturday night, so did the Buzz-Saw’s 3 game lead over the Hyphen. A Notre Dame victory would have brought Asti’s lead to just 2 games, as he incorrectly picked Stanford to beat Arizona State. Kelen took a chance and thought the Seminoles looked vulnerable at home.
And just as the penalty stopped Notre Dame from winning, that same penalty cost the Hyphen another week chasing a 3 game deficit that’s looking almost insurmountable with each passing of another game into the record books. The games seem to be pretty cut and dry this weekend, so one can only expect Asti will still be leading by 3 games this time next week.
Boo BHyphen (Mike “The Buzz-Saw” Asti): 87-20
Stone Cold Buzz-Saw Killers (Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley): 84-23
By Jacob Slater
Last year, I decided to do a little thing in celebration of Halloween on my oft-neglected fim blog (which you can find at thunderplanet.blogspot.com if you feel like torturing yourself). It was a list of 10 spooky movies that I thought were really damn good, so I thought I would put a good word in for those with my nonexistent readers, so that they might try the movies out themselves and perhaps a few new favorite movies. I didn’t really give myself enough time to really work on the thing though, I think I wrote and posted it the the week of Halloween, and several of the films were those that didn’t need that much help, like John Carpenter’s The Thing. Like most things in my life, it was ultimately disappointing.
So because I watch/read/listen to so much stuff but still want to give my opinions on things without typing up a 1000 word post, I’ve created a video version of a Hyphenated Review. I rattle off some thoughts for about 10 minutes or less, slap an image from what I’m talking about with the audio, create and upload to my YouTube channel. (Almost) instant Hyphenated Review.
I’ve been watching The Monday Night War series on the WWE Network and it does deliver what the title states: stories of the Money Night War. But since there’s three sides to every story, we get a certain view on the War with every episode. Still a fun watch for any wrestling fan.
By Kelen Conley
So maybe this picking winners for a sport I didn’t follow closely during the regular season thing isn’t as hard as I thought. I definitely will not change the name of the column from Uneducated Guesses though. Then I don’t look like an idiot when I’m wrong. And I would never try to sort out the NHL playoffs, don’t worry about that.
But here we are! The 2014 World Series, featuring the two hottest teams in baseball, the Kansas City Royals and the San Francisco Giants? First, kudos to both ballclubs for making it to the Fall Classic. No easy task even if they both didn’t win more than 90 games in the regular season. But enough fun, I absolutely love that it comes down to the Royals and the Giants. No teams with the highest payroll, no annoyingly good shortstop getting one last chance at the Trophy (I will miss you though Derek Jeter. Much respect), and no teams that I hate!
The Royals haven’t lost a game in the postseason; the Giants have lost only 2. Both teams should be well rested, well coached, and well-oiled for tonight’s tip-off, er, I mean, first pitch. This is harder than picking between the Cardinals and Giants in the NLCS. And before I do:
I know the Giants were on a roll. I know Yadier got hurt. But I really thought the Cards would get more than ONE game. Sure, the games were all extremely close, but it never seemed like St. Louis wanted it as bad as San Francisco did. So much for my MLB Spurs theory.
The Royals haven’t lost ONE game since the postseason began and they’ve taken out TWO of the best teams in baseball this season in the Angels and the Orioles. More importantly, they could become the first team since the 1976 Cincinnati Reds to finish a postseason undefeated, and with more rounds now, they’d own the most impressive postseason run of all-time. I’m sure a second World Series crown would suffice though.
So who wins?
#4 Kansas City Royals v. #5 San Francisco Giants: The Giants won’t get swept. Neither will the Royals. Both ballparks have been extremely difficult for opposing teams, but both teams have won 4 games on the road this postseason, so you can almost throw home field out the window. And both of these ballclubs are so fundamentally sound that each game should be competitive and down to the last out. I’ve owned both Kansas City and San Francisco hats in my lifetime but only the SF one in my adulthood. Somebody get Cinderella her slipper. Royals in 6.