Boo B Hyphen (Mike “The Buzz-Saw” Asti): 174-48
Stone Cold Buzz-Saw Killers (Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley): 161-61
The three-peat is completed. Mike “The Buzz-Saw” Asti finished the college football regular season ahead of Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley by 13 correct picks. Kelen didn’t even bother to pick the Week 15 games. When asked why he didn’t choose winners, he said this:
Didn’t he win in Week 5?
Yes, he did Kelen. Yes he did.
Kelen managed to lose more ground on The Buzz-Saw by picking Utah over Arizona in Week 13, so he now trails by 6 games going into the final week of the season. Barring any games being added by Yahoo (a move that cost Kelen the Golden Keg Championship last season), Asti should be receiving his third straight Golden Keg this time next week.
The Hyphen did release a statement heading into the final week of the season.
I now know how Katherine Heigl felt in 27 Dresses.
After proclaiming that he would “sock Asti in his mouth from here on out” last time we spoke to him, Kelen has done nothing of the sort. In fact, over three weeks, he lost more ground to The Buzz-Saw after picking his beloved Hurricanes to upset the still-undefeated Seminoles.
In Week 10, The Hyphen also made the inexplicable choice of choosing Texas Tech over Texas, a move that would have gained him a game on Asti. Instead, he sits 5 games back with 3 weeks to go. Kelen hasn’t spoken to the media since his infamous quote we mentioned above. Here’s an out of context tweet from The Buzz-Saw about the situation.
@bhyphen But you do suck!
— Mike J. Asti (@MikeAsti11) November 18, 2014
Safe to say, Asti is all but assured a third consecutive Golden Keg Championship.
You know, I took some risks this season, hoping to catch Asti off guard. But I’ve had to learn the hard way that you can’t catch Asti off guard. You have to walk right up to him and sock him in the mouth. The question then, is how well you respond to getting your own block knocked off. So I’m looking to sock Asti in his mouth from here on out.
6 weeks remaining.