Lightning Round of Applause; The Thunder Clappening

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By Errick Greenlee

Sup, dorks?  Lightning Round disclaimer stuff.

Begin.

You know the MAIN reason I don’t take/post pictures of my food on social media?  Well the SECOND to main reason?  I can’t deal when people say the same cliche ass, “Where my plate what?” or when you go to a restaurant, “Aw no invite?”  NO, NO INVITE!  I get that you’re joking, in the event you aren’t, you’re a dick for making my comments awkward and making me confront the fact I don’t like you enough to think to invite you to places with me.  The number one reason I don’t photograph food is that I think it’s stupid.

Whatever happened to Kat Stacks(z)? Don’t bother answering that. It was a rhetorical question.

I wonder how I used to be able to drink the way I did.  I was a tank. I didn’t have a problem though.  There were plenty of nights I refused the sauce, but when I parTOOK?  I could put it away.  We drank like Vikings!

What would you HONESTLY do if somebody slapped you with a glove because you offended their honor?

Remember last week when we discussed entrance themes?  Add Razor Ramon’s theme as the last song at prom or the song the DJ played for Ladies’ Choice.

I gotta redo my whole top 10 list of Cartoon chicks I’d Cool World with.  Michiko Malandro is kind of close to the top of the new countdown.  She’s what would happen if Spike Speigel and Faye Valentine had a baby and then dipped her in sweet, sweet chocolate.  They sweet chocolate became a smooth living skin.  This is getting weird.  Anyway, I love a cartoon now.  You cannot judge me.

I want to set the record straight, guys.  A lot of times people will bring up some delicious meal full of fat and cheese and calories and salt and sauce and I will quietly retch. I might make a face or stick my tongue out to gag.  It’s not that I don’t think I wouldn’t enjoy said cheesy, salty, saucy food.  No, certainly not.  It would prance upon my tastebuds as a playful pixie skips across a pond full of lilypads.  I’m thinkin of the next day–NAY, the moments following the meal, my body will make me pay dearly.

If you’re an adult and you have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), you need to be honest with yourself and just admit you’re envious of other people and the good times they’re having without you.  It’s kind of childish to think you have to be in on everything.  Besides, don’t we have to have something ELSE to fear in these times?

Woody was messed up in the first Toy Story.  If he had a chance to be redeemed, then there had to be a chance for Sid to turn his life around.  I like to think that he got it together.  I hope he doesn’t become a garbage man as a way to punish him.  There’s nothing shameful about being a civil servant.  Plus, I’m sure he made a decent living.

Lastly, I recently picked up the book Pigs in the Parlor.  While I’ve never come off as the “religious type” whatever that’s supposed to mean, I’ve never been one to shy away from a good conversation on spirits,principalities and entities.  It’s very heavy stuff, but basically it breaks down how to deal with demons and negative spirits.  Your own self-doubt would be a demon.  A lot of things that we think are all in our heads, are a result of something that we may or may not have let into our spirits whether we meant to or not.  My mother warned me as a teenager to guard my own spirit against things of the occult, worldly things that would creep into my psyche and of course the negativity of other people.  I haven’t read a word in this book that I disagree with yet.  It could be a little scary to look a lot of this stuff in the eye.  It’s a lot easier to ignore it and say it doesn’t exist.  I want you to notice how many movies that have come out in the last 5 years alone are based around Satanic items and haunted evil grounds.  Google a couple of these events.  See where this stuff is based.  There’s no need to wear a hockey mask anymore.  The script is telling you who the star of the show is now.  I find most of these films to be trash anyway.  But I’ll look some of this stuff up just to let Satan know, “Yeah.  I see you.” Honestly, if you want to see a Biblical bad-ass, read up on the Apostle Paul.  He had demons running scared. Check him out.

Alright Kiddies.  I’m done for now, but not for later.  Got some stuff coming down the pipe (pike?  Like turnpike?) that I’m very excited for.  Met some new people who can teach me new things that will make our media a little more multi.  Got some exciting life events in the works as well so as soon as I have news, you will know.  Thanks for supporting the Lightning Round and well…me as a person, friend and family member.  I love you guys more than you’ll ever be comfortable with.

ToC Classic: Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991), directed by Lam Nai-choi

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By Jacob Slater

Or, Let’s Go To Anime Prison!

There’s something beautiful about Riki-Oh. Is it dumb? Certainly, as only those hyper-violent action manga of the 80s could be; where all futures are dystopian and all the protagonists have the personality of a particularly dull rock. However, it is exactly that quality of ‘dumb’ which, when transplanted wholesale into a live-action film which makes it shine. The ridiculously melodramatic characters, the charnel house gore that is figuratively poured into almost every scene, it all comes together into a wonderfully unique package that manages to straddle the line between exemplifying Takajo and Tetsuya’s work and satirizing that entire era of manga. Intentionally or unintentionally though, I can’t say. The English dub would definitely support the latter.

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ToC Classic: The Living Daylights (1987), directed by John Glen

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By Jacob Slater

Or, If You’re Gonna Spy, Spy Hard

Whether you’re a huge fan of the long-running James Bond movie series or only became aware of it through the success of the Daniel Craig films, it’s important to establish that by the mid 80s the franchise needed a bit of retooling. The last 007 film, A View To A Kill, starring Roger Moore, had been an inglorious end to a controversial era in the super spy’s history. While Moore wasn’t an unacceptable iteration of James Bond (and I’m sure a true Bond fan can name some of his crowning moments), his legacy is marred by a level of excess that comes off as rather farcical in retrospect, even for a series that has a secret agent going around telling people his real name. James Bond literally dressing up as a clown that one time probably didn’t help either. We did get a pretty good Paul McCartney song out of that era though, which is cool.

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Better In The Dark – Episode #20: 30 Days of Ultimatums Shoot Rob Zombie

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It’s the first BITD edited on the BITD Central HQ’s new computer! Pity it focuses on some frustrating films that The Boys Outta Brooklyn saw from August to October of 2007. Sure, Derrick raves about Shoot ‘Em Up, but then Tom tries to figure out why 30 Days of Night doesn’t thrill him, Derrick bitches about the use of caffeine-cam in The Bourne Ultimatum and both do an intervention for Rob Zombie and his white trash obsessions! There’s only one way to feel our wrath…and that’s by clicking like your life depends on it!

Better In The Dark – Episode #20: 30 Days of Ultimatums Shoot Rob Zombie

ToC Classic: Rope (1948), directed by Alfred Hitchcock

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By Jacob Slater

or, It’s Not A Real Party Until Somebody Dies

Originally, I was going to write that there’s not much else new to say about Rope. The truth of it is, I don’t think I can find the words to express adequately how I feel. I’ve seen a fair amount of movies in my time, not enough to make me an expert but enough to occasionally know what I’m talking about, so it might not sound too much like hyperbole to say that Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope stands as one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Not just my favorite movies or movies I like, which occupy a large portion of space, but films that I feel exemplify filmmaking as an art form. Metropolis, Apocalypse Now, The Thing, The Bicycle Thief, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, etc., the cream of the cinema crop.

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ToC Classic: The American Astronaut (2001), directed by Cory McAbee

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By Jacob Slater

Or, We All Done Did It (At One Point or Another)

You know, when rewatching these movies, I always get the impression that my opinion is going to wildly change from what it was originally. It’s happened with TV shows, music, authors, comic books, even the occasional person or two. When it comes to movies though, those I’ve written articles for in particular, it seems like I’m pretty set in my ways. I liked Bride of Frankenstein back then, I like it now. I thought The Crow was dumb back then, and I think it’s dumb now. Not sure why, maybe I’m more critical of film than I am any other medium on a subconscious level, thus I hold it to a high standard. Filtering out the bullshit, in a fashion.

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Better In The Dark – Episode #19: Take Us Out To The Game Of Your Choice

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While we’re all still coming down from tryptophane poisoning, join The Guys Outta Brooklyn as they discuss their favorite Sports Movies. Thomas and Derrick talk about such notables as both versions of The Longest Yard, the boxing classic The Great White Hope, and the cult hockey classic Slap Shot–and then go as mental as they ever have been over the sports movie spoof Dodgeball! Plus the guys talk about their own sports memories growing up. It’s third and long, so what else can you do but click that download button now!

Better In The Dark – Episode #19: Take Us Out To The Game Of Your Choice

Better In The Dark – Episode #18: The November 2007-January 2008 Preview Episode, For The Children Are Our Future

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The last of our preview episodes before we decided it wasn’t fun for us, including advice on Child Rearing, praise for Tim Burton and Vincent Price, and more Kristen Bell slobbering in the case of Tom.

Better In The Dark – Episode #18: The November 2007-January 2008 Preview Episode, For The Children Are Our Future

Better In The Dark – Episode #17: Hunting In A Cemetery Pitch For A Haunted Phantasm Before Dawn

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Our First Annual Halloween Suggestions Episode is here! Join the Boys From Brooklyn as they discuss with more enthusiasm than facts six of their favorite horror films that you might not have considered. From the classic-but-near-forgotten Phantasm to the insanely wrong-headed (in the positive sense) Cemetery Man, we’re sure to turn you onto something that’s perfect for your tastes. Also, Tom and Derrick talk about the charms of both versions of The House on Haunted Hill, and we let the cat out of the bag about what we’ve got planned for the month of December. It’s a gruesome grab bag of cinematic chillers, so reach your hand in by clicking the download button!

Better In The Dark – Episode #17: Hunting In A Cemetery Pitch For A Haunted Phantasm Before Dawn