The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – The Asinine Coverup

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Trying to digest all the asininity of the past week or so would give any man a monster stomach ache. Mike “the Buzz-Saw” Asti and George “the Howitzer” Gerbo fight back potential ulsers for your listening pleasure.

Since you last heard from your favorite sports genius’, the Miami Heat and Chicago Blackhawks have won another title each, a draft took place that makes no damn sense, a marquee franchise has thrown its hands in the air and decided to scrap it all, the Lakers have began creepily attempting to lure Dwight Howard back, and oh yeah, a professional athlete was charged with murder. Excited? Well you should be. This is guaranteed to equal talk show gold.

Aaron Hernandez has gone from All-Pro tight end and future of the New England Patriots to gangster buffoon in what seems like a blink of an eye. Now that he’s been arrested, his bail has been denied, and he’s in jail awaiting trial, how will this all play out? With so much circumstantial evidence and by all accounts the worst coverup imaginable, does Hernandez have a prayer to ever see the light of day again? Keeping track of all the tentacles of this saga is impossible.

Doc Rivers is now leading the Clippers, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce are in Brooklyn, all while Ray Allen is soaking up his second ring. A funnier script to the end of the Boston Celtics as we knew them isn’t possible. Was there a trade winner?

“As The Dwight Howard Turns” soap opera has another chapter.  While he ponders where to sign, the Lakers have begun pathetically begging him to stay, including hanging a giant sign stating “STAY D12″ outside their arena. Should Dwight consider an LA return?

Oddly on the back burner, will the futures of the Heat and Blackhawks see more championships?

All the asininity is cleaned up, as the Howitzer and Buzz-Saw conquer sports radio, one day, at a time…

The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – The Asinine Coverup

Encyclopedia Crawford Knows All: Why Don’t I Have Any Friends? Part 1

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I have actually had people ask me why they don’t have that many friends. How do you answer that? Do you tell them that they talk too much? Can I point out that they are abrasive and annoying at times? I’m not a mean person at all…okay, at times I can be, but when it’s a serious question I find myself curious how to answer it. Continue reading

14 Questions: Magneto Was Right

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None of these questions have to do with Magneto. I was just looking at how awesome Cyclops has become in the comics since he murked out good ol’ Chuck. I’m telling you, Scott Summers has been gold since Grant Morrison got a hold of him. Continue reading

Encylopedia Crawford Knows All: The Vegan Theory

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Alright, it isn’t nice. I know. The fact is that anyone that knows me will say I’m opinionated on many subjects. The fact is, I do tend to make jokes and pick on people, such as those that call themselves vegans. To those that are living under a rock, vegans are people that eat absolutely no meat, no eggs, no milk, no butter or cheese. These individuals do it for a variety of reasons. They do it for health and spiritual reasons. They also do it because they are disgusted with how modern animals are treated in pens and slaughterhouses. Continue reading

Encyclopedia Crawford Knows All: Don’t Worry, It’s Good For You!

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This is not a pro smoking schtick. Actually, I don’t smoke, never really liked it. The fact is that as our nation grows, it seems more and more laws are put in place to, “save ourselves” from…well, ourselves. The fact is, I just like how they always seem to find one culprit, one, “bad guy,” and force everyone to believe it. The fact is, I know smoking is bad. People have known that well over a century now. There is a reason that in the 1920s and earlier, cigarettes were called cancer sticks. Continue reading

Better In The Dark – Episode #38: The Three Faces of I Am Legend

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In honor of a great, great man:

Richard Matheson
February 20, 1926 – June 23, 2013

“If men only felt about death as they do about sleep, all terrors would cease. . . Men sleep contentedly, assured that they will wake the following morning. They should feel the same about their lives.”

The Guys Outta Brooklyn spend some time waiting for the end of the world by examining the classic Richard Matheson novella I Am Legend and its three adaptations. Each of these trio of films are very different in tone and approach, and Tom and Derrick will compare and contrast them all. From the black-as-pitch black and white melodrama of The Last Man on Earth to Charlton Heston kicking ass in The Omega Man to Will Smith and his dog trying to survive in I Am Legend, we cover them all! Plus some talk about mixing animation and live action, and Tom is vindicated when Derrick finally watches the Kristen Bell tragedy Pulse. Bare those teeth like you mean it–get to clicking!

Better In The Dark – Episode #38: The Three Faces of I Am Legend